Reflections on Being a New-comer
Sharing Now and Then
Old-comer:
Today was rough, traffic was bad and my dry cleaning got lost. I was glad to be clean
and sober though as I had better tools to apply to the situation
New-comer:
Oh my god, my dry cleaning got lost too! We must be sisters under the skin, or
maybe brothers because maybe gender doesn't really exist, does it, because I mean
after all, how many times a day do we pee anyway? I came to a realization that my
dry cleaning was really a metaphor for Jesus Christ because he wore clothes, and my
counter assistron was named Mary both this time and last time too and I knew I was
never going to get MARRIED so I figured it must mean something about Jesus and
besides my next door neighbor growing up was named Mary too and I had traffic with
her brother and then when my dad found out, oh my God, my dad was always so
mean to me, nothing I did was ever good enough for him....I think I never would have
done any drugs at all if I could have just had a dad like Jesus except then I guess I
wouldn't have known him since he would have been in Heaven so maybe I would
have gotten drunk and smoked pot both except I guess they didn't have any pot way
back in the middle ages or whenever Jesus was so I probably would have been really
depressed because my therapist says she thinks I am really depressed a lot but
maybe she just wants my money.....so I'm trying to be grateful all the time and not
feel special because my dad didn't feel like Jesus but I don't know if that is the right
way to be because I don't really know anything other than I hurt all the time...my
stomach hurts and my head hurts and my brain hurts ....I think it just hurts to be me,
maybe it hurts to be anyone.... Is that Step 1? to say I hurt all the time? .....What is
working a step anyway? I climb steps, I don't work steps.... Oh Lord I hope I'm not
going to not fit in at M.A. ..... Isn't there a place for me anywhere in the world? It
makes me so mad!!! .. I don't know, maybe I will fit in.... I just don't know, I only know
that today I didn't smoke any pot and that has to be good, right?.... Oh crap, was this
cross-talk? Who's next????